Cutting Grass on a Sunny Day

In airborne school we cut the grass with scissors. I didn’t realize how important the lesson on patience, tolerance, and acceptance would be on my life, especially in parenthood. Not to mention how grateful it made me for lawn mowers. I didn’t appreciate them quite like I should have. What do you not appreciate quiteContinue reading “Cutting Grass on a Sunny Day”

Not All Days Are As Good As Pie

Yesterday I had a rough day. My counselor asked me what I was angry about and I said, “I’m angry about my fucking parents dying; I’m angry about going to war; I’m angry about still not being a paid writer; I’m angry about not being a paid farmer; I’m angry about feeling insufficient.” And whoContinue reading “Not All Days Are As Good As Pie”

Pecan Pie

Every Wednesday Savanna, Primrose and I go to our good friends’, Barry and Donna White’s home for supper. We cherish this weekly routine as one of the only social events we do at all, especially during Covid Timez. Last week, I mentioned to Donna that my favorite pie is easily Pecan, and what the heckContinue reading “Pecan Pie”

Importance of Having a Home

I am a very, very lucky man. I have a warm home with two heaters, a few small leaks in the roof and fresh air that streams through the trim around north facing windows. The floor is cold but not frozen. Our bath tub is currently full of dirty water from doing the laundry, ourContinue reading “Importance of Having a Home”

The Antithesis of Fire and Brimstone

I did not grow up going to church, temple, or any other religious place to practice or visit, mainly because my mother felt judged and inadequate. I can certainly understand why, although I have come to believe that judgmental people are everywhere, including sitting here at the computer typing this ditty. However, as I haveContinue reading “The Antithesis of Fire and Brimstone”

To a Mother who Passed On

I miss my mother every day. I don’t talk about her very often, or really at all. Since she died on October 1, 2015, I have not posted any pictures about her online for her birthday, none of the cute “Miss my mother” posts. No, I seem to have closed off that side of myContinue reading “To a Mother who Passed On”

Angels in the Snowflakes

Holiday time can be so difficult for so many people, and when I look back at some of my own holidays I see opened presents with nothing but heartache, loneliness and overconsumption. Two Christmases spent in Iraq as a soldier; feeling forgotten by everybody despite their letters and packages. New Years spent alone in Olympia,Continue reading “Angels in the Snowflakes”

Anxiety Attacks Like Alien Space Invaders

11/14/2020: 10:03 PM: Journal Entry Do you ever feel like you’re one second away from losing your shit all over your neighbor’s yard and then punching them in the face when they come and ask you about it? Does your breath turn shallow and fast, eyes rapid and alert, heart beating so loud it’s allContinue reading “Anxiety Attacks Like Alien Space Invaders”

Being a Dad Without Having Had a Dad

Primrose Flora Lynn Stark is cuddled in my left arm sleeping as Savanna sleeps in our bedroom. Since they cat nap through the night as I get a few hours, I take the baby to the winter room in the wee morning hours to cuddle by the stove, drink coffee and read. All while watchingContinue reading “Being a Dad Without Having Had a Dad”