A friend and mentor constantly reminds me that life is not about doing what we want, it is about doing what we must. This statement can be argued left and right and up and down, but that’s not why we are here. We are here to focus on that single statement.

So what must we do?

Eat, rest, clean the body, clothe the body, drink water, use the bathroom, wipe our butts. If you are like our five-year-old daughter, you will constantly beg somebody else to wipe your butt.

Once you are done with the bare necessities, what comes next?

A house to live in, healthy food, clean drinking water, a change of clothes, a clean mouth, other people to depend on you.

What comes next?

Here is where things start to get a little complicated. Where money, jobs, savings, financial independence, a vehicle, communication skills, appearance, reputation, work ethic, language, mannerism, friendliness, and such come into play.

And then comes the responsibility of taking care of the people who depend on us. Our children, our spouses, our family, our friends, our neighbors– they need us. And so does the wildlife, the forests, the grasslands, the domesticated animals, the wild places, and the other people who live in distant lands.

Life is not just about riding the snowboard down the mountain while passing everybody by. Stop and teach the youngster struggling to carve. Help the mother who is trying to carry a baby on her back while teaching a toddler. Ride with the solo-person who looks lonely. Carve through the trees and make sure they are being taken care of. Wave and thank the lift operators and the ski patrol. Ask a friend to come along so you’re not all alone all of the time. Hit a jump and try something you haven’t tried before, risking injury and failure. Embarrass yourself a time or two or a thousand. Give up. Take a few days. Try again.

Don’t try to find the easy way out of every situation, or the little easy dragon rollercoaster ride that will take you through the soft and pleasant route of life. Hell, don’t stay on the scariest rollercoaster just because it gives you an adrenaline ride. Get off the damn rollercoaster and see what the family wants to ride.

Sometimes the bare necessities seem impossible. Making the bed, brushing teeth, washing our stinking butts. Just do it, make it mechanical. Save your energy and thought process for things that require more thought. Like how to pay for a family to eat, or how to save a down payment on a house, or how to save money for retirement, or how to buy a dependable car, or how to pay for health insurance, or how to save money for the kids’ future, or how to talk to your spouse about sex, or how to confront a co-worker or a boss about their shitty work ethic. Don’t waste your thoughts on petty bullshit like whether or not you should make your bed or brush your teeth or wipe your butt with baby wipes or toilet paper, make those things non-thought actions to save energy to think about the bigger things.

Remember, life is not about doing what we want- it’s about doing what we must. What are you neglecting to do because you don’t feel like it?

Stop thinking about it, and get after it.

Until next time,
The Starks

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Next Week: Savanna will continue to write about the 8 Limbs of Yoga. She is currently in a silversmithing class.