I am waiting, and I don’t really like to wait.
After three proofreaders read my next book, l listened, dissected, and implemented. I took some advice and left the rest. My final writer suggested changing the title and doubling the length.

He said, The book doesn’t fit into any “category” and that is what the industry wants. He thinks my changes of being signed by an agent are lessened if it doesn’t fit into what the industry wants, what the agent knows will sell and make a lot of money.
“Because that is what agents want,” he said, “to make a lot of money”.
And the man knows agents. John Straley has had the same agent from Curtis Brown for over a decade, and he has published 14 books through the same publisher.

John gloated about the book. It’s authentic, wise, creative, and easy to read. The writing is humble, never pretentious, and deeply insightful. I allowed his flattery to sink in for a fleeting moment until I realized that it really didn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if he thinks the book is good or bad, well written or crappy. Whether it will sell and make a lot of money or not sell at all and be another one of my self-published books that earns roughly a thousand bucks a year. That’s really not what it’s all about. (Although it would be very nice). It’s about reaching a single reader who is touched by my words and decides to keep living and make a better life for themselves. Just one.

I took some of his suggestions. I changed the title (the subtitle, not the main title), and increased the length from 18,000 words to 25,000 words.

When I sent him the revised version, he mentioned that he believes the book could break me into the upper layer of authors who make a lot of money and receive a lot of praise, or it could end up in the slush pile without an agent due to the fact that it doesn’t fit into any category.

Before I start sending the book and proposal to agents (I have a list of 50), I sent both documents to my final reader; my former professor at The Evergreen State College, Chico Herbison.

Chico and I will talk on the phone tomorrow about what he thinks about the book and proposal and if he has any suggestions. He was the final reader of Warflower and Just Like a Soldier. Hell, he read both books before they were books, when they were nothing but scattered essays and stories .

So in the meantime, I wait.

I am working on the supernatural/psychological thriller series in the interim, but I am so damn tired after waking up every two hours to let the puppy out and being blasted by sound, emotion, and wild kids from 7 am-8:30 pm, that my nervous system is toast. I keep asking myself, How could I ever write something of quality while being so fried?

So I wait for the tiredness to pass.

The past few mornings I have stared at the computer screen wondering if it is even worth writing. I gently set the emotions aside and keep working. Work, work, work. But I am not working like I do when I am excited and energetic about a project. The days are slow and unproductive. One morning I revised 1,300 words. The next morning I revised 700 words. The next morning I revised 500 words. I remind myself that as long as I keep the momentum to work on the book everyday, it will get done.

But in the forefront of my mind is the self-help book. The one that my former professor will talk with me about tomorrow. The one that I will send to agents next week, if all goes well. After I send the first wave of 10 query letters, I will wait 6-8 weeks for responses before I send the next 10. During the waiting period, I will work on the next book (if I can focus), take the puppy out, work at an after-school program with fifth graders three days a week, eat, sleep, catch mice, kiss my wife and kids, change diapers, do a book signing at Title Wave Books (Next Saturday), manifest a six figure deal for the self-help book, and secretly wait for a reply from an agent who wants to sign me on.

Waiting isn’t my favorite part of writing, but it is necessary.

Primrose and her dogs

P.S. Cross your fingers and send some prayers and positive vibes my way to find the right agent so I can focus more on writing and less on marketing, advertising, and promoting.