If you recall Yama is the first limb of Ashtanga yoga. Yama roughly means “restraint”. There are 5 Yamas to be worked on in Ashtanga. My last blog we went over Ahimsa (non-harming). This week we will look into the second Yama, Satya.

Satya is non-deception or truthfulness.

As I blog through these to share, I meditate daily on the word and action. It is in the forefront of my mind and this brings up many opportunities for me to dive deep.

Maybe the most obvious example of Satya is telling the truth! Not lying. This includes to my children. This can be hard in instances when I feel like a white lie might save their innocence. I have been trying to find a balance between telling them the truth about hard subjects while giving them age appropriate explanations. All this hard work has proved to build a trusting relationship and it encourages my children to be honest as well. Within these last few weeks Primrose came to me with tears in her eyes explaining she has lied about pushing Marlena. She had done it on purpose but said it was an accident because she was afraid of getting in trouble. We had to have a conversation about honesty, integrity, and just owning up to your shit and taking responsibility. Bob and I are firm believers, if you admit your shortcomings aloud, you’ll do them less and less until you don’t do them anymore. I was very proud of and inspired by my 5 year old.

Of course we also can think easily of social media and Satya. It is a hot topic (I used to love that store, anyone…..??) and common complaint I hear from people; “Everything is fake”. We all know too well about the deception behind pictures.

But what about in our own hearts? In the last two weeks I have focused on my life’s direction, my principals, my values and if they are matching up. And they aren’t! This is not Satya. I am not living my life as truthfully to my heart as I would like. One of the biggest wrong-doings is in regard to my cell phone.

I generally don’t use my phone too much, however it is more than I’d like. Every week my screen time report comes back to almost 2 hours a day. Since I don’t have social media, this is a lot. Most of my time is spent in “messages” “pictures” and now my new Libby app.

Before having children, I read a lot. Since having children, I hardly ever get the chance to complete a book. I downloaded the app Libby. It connects your library card and is essentially a library on your cellphone. I check out books to read, audiobooks and more. I love it. I have become a reader again!! Finally I can hold my phone at night while breastfeeding the babies to bed. It’s compact, small and I can dim the light on the screen. They fall asleep and I’m entertained. I crawl into bed and hold my oldest hand as she falls asleep and I read. I’m getting like an hour of reading a night. Im breezing through books.

And then I think about this damn phone. The light. The waves. The influence. My children are seeing me on this thing all the time at bedtime. It doesn’t matter that I’m reading a book on there. They don’t know the difference. They are getting in their little minds that it is ok to look at this device. Some may not see a problem with this, however, for myself and my family, this is not something that lines up with what I want.

I picture myself staring at my screen while my baby tries to see my face. I picture myself sucked into another world while my older children long to have my attention. It makes me feel sick. But for some reason, my selfishness has pushed that sickness back. Because I deserve a break by God!

The truth is, I have a list of books on my shelf, at home, with a book light that I’m dying to read. Why don’t I just use it? Because it’s bulky? Because I have a hard time turning the page? Because I’m getting a nice dopamine rush by the device which is its design. Because I have been lazy in my actions and in my heart.

So in celebration of Satya, Bob and I have decided we are locking our cellphones up in our gun safe – every day. Every day! It feels so good. Maybe not to everyone who tries to get ahold of me. I am checking my messages, but really only twice a day. I read an actual book at night (I have almost completed one) and I feel much lighter and happier.