The fifth and final Yama (the first limb of 8 in Ashtanga Yoga) is Aparigraha, or non-attachment / non-greed. This Yama gets a lot of voice in the world outside of yoga.

Attachment +/= Materialism
We live in a time when materialism may be at its height! Yet, ask the question at a party “What if your house burned down?” most likely more people than not will say, “It’s just stuff.” There is a deep desire to not be attached to our belongings. There may be more than a deep desire. We may actively pursue not being attached to our belongings. However, what do we work so hard for? To buy things!!!!! It’s craziness. I can’t go down the hole of affluenza right now, but if you know me and my family, you already know what I might say.

Relationships and Attachment
The biggest aspect of non-attachment I struggle with is in my relationships. This is especially true for my family. I cannot bare the thought of any one of us dying! When I was a little girl I was plagued with something that seemed to be insomnia to me. Anxiety. I thought about death constantly. Every night repeating the round of who goes first in my head over and over. Because I didn’t understand death (I still don’t) I thought it took you by age. My dad would go first. Then my mom. My sister. My older sister. Me. My God, ME! My little sister. My baby sister. How will I feel watching every one before me die? How will my life go on without my parents and best friends? How will I die?! How will my little sisters feel once I die? The thoughts were torturous and unrelenting. I did not want to be separated from my family.

I feel this way now with children of my own. What would I do if one of them dies before me? What will I do if my husband dies before me? How does life go on? I would be destroyed. It scares me to even approach these thoughts in my mind because I could literally make myself sick with worry.

I am attached to my family and my life! I love it. I love them. And I think this is the hardest Yama for me to move through.

Attachment is Greed
Aparigraha can also refer to non-greed – which makes me think it could also be non-desire. If we are constantly wanting more and more and more then we are not satisfied easily. We have high exceptions and become very judgmental. We must stop this part of our mind searching unfulfilled, by having gratitude.

Be grateful for all the crap in your house. Cherish your relationships. And look inside your heart. You’ll find what you truly desire there.