Do you spend time worrying about what others think about you? Do you stay awake at night wondering if what you said offended somebody? Do you wonder if your friends actually like you?

Most of us deal with these thoughts now and then, others deal with them on an all-consuming intrusive level. Some people claim to not care at all what anybody thinks about them.

Where are you on this spectrum?

I used to put countless hours of energy into wondering and worrying about what other people thought about my work ethic, my looks, my skills, my material belongings, my thoughts, and my abilities.

Did they like my newspaper article? I wondered. Do they think my books are too vulgar? I pondered. Will I actually please this girl in bed? I worried. Did they count the mistakes in my first memoir? I thought. Did I hurt people’s feelings when I spoke at the dinner party?

When I stopped worrying about everybody’s feelings and thoughts and started focusing on the people closest to me, a new freedom took hold. Yes, I want to please my wife and children, but can I really be the man I want to be while tiptoeing around everybody’s feelings. No.

Will the day come when I am one of the lucky ones who do not care whatsoever about what anybody thinks? Probably not, but I can take small steps to relieve my anxiety by focusing my efforts on pleasing my immediate family and friends rather than strangers and acquaintances.

Today, let’s free our minds by surrendering over other people’s thoughts and opinions of us. Because it really doesn’t matter anyway. Let’s stop trying to please and impress and start focusing on living our dream life while becoming the person we want to be.

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