On May 6th, I left our little homestead in Happy Valley to start my four day adventure to Montana as a second-time guest on the Cleared Hot Podcast. Two years ago, when I was a guest on the show after Warflower was published, I had never listened to the show so I had no idea the type of audience he had— so I didn’t have any anxiety. This time, however, was different. I listen to his show every week, and I have a vague idea of the hundreds of thousands of listeners who engage and respect him.

I rented a small cottage on the outskirts of Kalipell surrounded by hundred-year-old fences, cattle, horses, and pasture. I could smell cow manure from the front porch, and I loved it. I put four-hundred miles on the rental car, cruising with the windows down and blasting Led Zeppelin or John Prine. I drank ice cold orange Fanta in a glass bottle while circumnavigating Flathead Lake. I hiked a six mile trail in Glacier National Park, where I also took a dive in Lake McDonald. I spent the mornings writing the beginning of my next book with pen and paper in a composition notebook while basking in the sun with a cup of coffee and a cup of local Kalispell Creamery yogurt. At night, I grilled steaks and vegetables while watching the sunset over a weathered old pole barn.

It was a quiet, relaxing, and inspiring trip.

It was the longest time I have spent away from Savanna since we started dating six years ago. The longest time before the trip was a single night dip-netting on the Kenai River. It wasn’t easy to leave the kids and wife, but it was an opportunity that I could not pass up. Being gone made me realize a few things: I am stressed at home because I fill my time with too many projects; I need to work slower and to see my property as a multi-generational endeavor rather than something for me to accomplish in this lifetime; my wife and kids are just fine with Papa gone for a few nights, they may be less stressed with me away than at home; and that sometimes, spending a few days alone is exactly what the doctor ordered.

Regarding the podcast interview. I prayed hard for God to speak through me, and I cannot change what I said on air, I can either go crazy thinking about the dumb shit I said, or I can accept it and move forward. Some folks may judge me negatively for what I said, others may judge me positively, most people won’t even listen to it. Toward the end of the interview, Andy asked when I would be returning for another interview. I said I didn’t know. He offered to pay for the entire family to fly down next time. After the interview, he said, “That was one of the best interviews I’ve ever done.”

The interview must have gone okay. It’s hard to describe to a man who is currently training to fly helicopters, practicing as a black belt in jiu-jitsu, finishing his first book (that is going to hit the charts running), housing two teenage children, nurturing a young marriage, and hosting two very popular podcasts— it’s hard to describe the slow-life that I live without feeling somewhat insecure. “I’m not really doing much, Andy. Just living a slow life.”

But deep down, I know that millions of people are living chaotic lives with a dream of a slow and peaceful life, whether they are in Montana, Syria, New Mexico, or Ukraine — they are out there, and I hope that my tremulous voice reaches their ears and hearts when the episode airs in the future.

Until then, it is nice to be home in the arms of my wife and children. And so excited that my mother in-law is here to visit for a few more days. I am working slower, being present, and looking forward to the next opportunity my writing will bring.