It seems like only a couple of years ago, I was twelve years old riding my bicycle down the hill toward the ballfields with a bat across the handlebars, a mitt and ball in my pack, and a smile on my face. Just last week, I kissed a girl for the first time playing “Truth or Dare” before having my first fist fight on the playground. A couple nights ago, I was sleeping beside my battle buddies in Iraq wrestling with sand fleas and camel spiders. A few weeks back, I was drinking at a bar in Ireland, and then at a bar in Germany, and then at a wedding in Denmark.

But the truth is, I have not had a drink in 10 years, and all of those memories were more than 10 years ago. I will be 40 in 3 days, and I have not had a single drink in all of my 30s.

Even though I haven’t had a drink in my 30s, it wasn’t all easy. My mother and father both died, and I did not drink. I went to college and graduated as the first in my family with a degree, and I did not drink. In college, temptations were abundant and mental health struggles were real, but I did not drink. I have been broken financially and broken physically, and I did not drink. Many times I had the passing notion that if I drank I could escape the pain of life, but I finally realized that it was not true. Drinking only suppressed the emotions and provided a temporary hole to hide away, until eventually I crawled out of the hole and had to face life with shame and guilt. As they say, “I was sick and tired of being sick and tired,” and I was ready to change my life.

Even though I am 3 days from being 40, I can still do some of the same tricks that I could as a 12 year old skateboarder. I can still run and play and laugh and get giddy about kissing a girl (my bride). I can still ride a bicycle with a big smile and hang out with my friends next to a fire without a care in the world other than keeping the fire going. And I can do so many things so much better than I could when I was 12, and before I quit drinking. I can express my emotions, thoughts, and opinions in a healthy way (most of the time), and I can allow others to freely express themselves without being offended or having to argue. I can take responsibility for my actions, both good and bad. I can take constructive criticism. I can see the importance of long term goals and steady work ethic rather than spontaneous living only followed by binge work ethic. And most importantly, I can be a sober and present dad, husband, son, brother, friend, and community member- and maybe a role model for others who want to live free of drugs and alcohol.

Hey, not so bad for a guy who used to be known as “Black Out Bob.”

Remember, if you are suffering from mental health struggles and you feel like the mountain is too high to climb… It is not! If you think you are alone in the struggle… You are not! It’s not easy to pick up the phone and call a friend or a family member or a total stranger to ask for help, but it is sometimes necessary! Don’t hesitate to pick up the phone and make the positive changes today! Don’t wait until it’s too late!