It seems like every time I turn around I learn about another couple breaking up, another marriage ending in divorce, and another family ripped apart. Good women I know and love cannot find good men to take their hands in marriage. Good men I know and love cannot find good men to take their hands in marriage. What are the causes of the divorces, break-ups, and hesitations to fall in love? Financial issues, cheating, addiction, broken promises, emotional detachment, and on and on…

Even though the statistics seem to show that somewhere between 40-50 percent of American marriages end in divorce, it seems like that percentage is low. As a married man who was previously married at the age of 19 and divorced at 20, I often wonder what happens to couples and why they split?

But since I am not a psychologist, sociologist, marriage counselor, or licensed anything- all I can do is theorize, speak of my own experiences, and talk to people about what they know.

When I asked my neighbor how he has been married for over fifty years he simply shrugged his shoulders and laughed.
“I asked my aunt that same question a few years back,” he said, “She was married for seventy years before she died. She shrugged her shoulders and thought about it for a long hard while before finally saying. ‘I learned when to shut up.’ ”
The 80 year old man and myself agreed that his Aunt may have given the best bit of advice anybody could ever give.

The reason I bring all of this up is because we were blessed with the opportunity to attend the wedding of two wonderful people from Ninilchik on Saturday. And to see them together, laughing and kissing and dancing and cutting the cake and looking so joyful and cheerful, well- it brought tears to the eyes and warmth to the heart. I like to think that most marriages begin with the same emotions I saw in our dear friends, but somewhere along the way things get muddled, resentments build, trust is broken, and separation ensues.

Being at their wedding reminded me of my own marriage almost six years ago. Two excited, madly-in-love adults in their mid-thirties without kids or plans other than spending every day together, growing food together, and growing together until death. And while life has thrown many curveballs, sliders, knuckleballs, and heaters since that day, we are still moving forward, one day at a time, and more in love today than ever before.

I’ve attended more funerals than weddings, that’s for sure. Both are important in what they teach us about how to live, love, die, and be on earth among other beings. I hope and pray that our newlywed friends spend the rest of their lives working through their differences, loving each other, and learning when to shut-up.

P.S. Don’t forget to subscribe to our monthly publication, Stark Raving Mad, for $1 a month (the next issue will be published in 4 days!!!), to visit our online shop, to subscribe to our YouTube channel, and to cherish your spouse and family. Your financial support ensures that Savanna and I will not fight about financial matters… Not today, at least. Have a good week.