Before having our oldest daughter I was adamant that sleeping with your baby was not safe and something I would never do. I have been a very heavy sleeper my entire life and I was so worried I would roll and crush any children we might have. Bob bought me a few books to read on the subject as he was for sleeping with our future babies. We had many conversations about it. After receiving a crib the size of Montana, and thinking on our seemingly roll reversal on this topic, I decided it only made sense in every aspect despite my fear. We got rid of the crib and by the time Primrose was born we had a family bed set up. The first three months of Primrose’s life she slept on my or Bobs chest (because of digestive issues that kept her from being able to lay down fully) and so we didn’t need a bed for her anyway. Eventually she transitioned into the bed and we have slept with her every night since. It has looked different over the last 4 years and with the addition on our second child. Their entire lives they have slept with at least one parent – until 4 nights ago.

We bought the girls a bunk bed and they are in heaven! For months now we have been preparing Primrose telling her, “When you learn to sleep with just your sister we will buy you a bunk bed and you can sleep on top”. But every night, the temptation was too great to wake up and cry for us to come and snuggle her. And the temptation to just put her back to bed and go back into our own bed was too great. The snuggles are too precious. After seeing a great deal on Facebook marketplace, we bought the bed, set it up and the girls’ transition has been so smooth. Unlike the time I slept on the floor of the yurt for two weeks to break the cycle only to find Primrose cried all night and we ended up sleeping together again as soon as I started sleeping in the house. Last night Bob and I were laughing saying, “Why didn’t we do this so long ago?!” But then this morning we both confessed how sad it is because we no longer get those all night snuggle from our girls. The change is hard. Watching your children grow is a true delight and such a blow. Bob and I are excited that we will be sleeping together again soon ( we have a spot downstairs currently to help get the girls back to sleep in their own beds) but then we remembered we are having two babies any day now. Eventually we will get our bed back, but for now, I will be enjoying the new snuggles, the growing independence, and the admiration I feel for my sweet and sensitive husband who has surprisingly taught me how to be a better mother.