Anyone feel me on this? Are you constantly weighing the pros and cons of working for yourself? Have you taken the steps into the world of self employment?

I always thought I wanted to work for myself. I always thought it would be so much better, easier, more fun…….

I love love love being self employed. However, it is fucking hard. Really hard. And a lot of work. Now that I am fully working for myself (and by no means making enough money for our family. Thank God I have a husband who also brings in money.), it seems like all I ever do is work and I hardly make a buck. The day to day passes without a “paycheck” or any kind of steady income. It can be very difficult to plan for anything. Applying for loans seems like a joke and I cannot even being to think about retirement plans. Health insurance, taxes, paper work……all things I have NO CLUE how to due, and not enough money to pay a professional for. I am afraid often of doing something illegal because I just simply don’t understand the ins and outs of all things business. And how could I ever learn them? Everyone says YouTube is a great place to learn things. And I know because I’m constantly trying to hone skills to make the money to pay for the professionals to do these things for me. I haven’t been able to make it there yet.

Sometimes it really seems like we are sinking ourselves into endless work. There is always something we “have to get done” and can be very disheartening and frustrating when my little girl says, “Mom can you play?” and when I respond “No, baby, I’m sorry not right now” and she will reply “Because you’re too busy?”. Punch to the gut.

But then I get to have a weekend like this one. One where I spend my nights working away on products, jewelry and herbal care, and I get to set up a booth and sell the things I make. Just like in the summer with growing food and going to markets. I LOVE markets. I could almost LIVE for markets. It’s one of the only times I really love and enjoy to be social.

On the way to the market this weekend I told Bob, even if we don’t sell a thing, I am so excited to go sit with a bunch of other artists as I work all day on my art and talk to others about theirs. I was able to connect with so many people in our community. It absolutely thrills me to see people wearing earrings that I made. I love that my children can “come to work” with me and play with other children. I get so much joy hanging out with my husband, talking with each other, interacting with each other in a group setting. I love boosting him up to others in the community.

I am inspired again after this weekend. The work I am doing is important to me and important to share. I think, as of today, that the pros far outweigh the cons.

I can’t wait to do more markets in 2024. I’m going to keep beading (I’m branching out into necklaces, bracelets and anklets this year), and starting my Ethnobotany and Herbalism classes through University Alaska Fairbanks and Eclectic School of Herbal Medicine, you can be sure that my new line of herbal products Late Bloomers will be on overdrive (this weekend was my debut for this new product line).

I am very excited, happy, thrilled, exhausted. Goodnight.