In Honor of 4/20

While I don’t drink or smoke weed anymore, I certainly use to do both… a lot! This poem was written in 2008 while doing a lot of smoking, drinking and traveling in Thailand… Oh God, I can’t wait to go back to Thailand as a sober man!
Sometimes when I read this poem, my addict mind starts convincing myself that I could start drinking and using again… but then I have to check myself and remember how I needed to drink and use every single damn day, all day, and how hard it was to stop.
Either way, to honor 4-20, for all of those people who can smoke a little bud here and there, I hope you’re enjoying yourselves. Smoke one for me.

I was high and drunk and tired in this picture, I felt so ashamed to be sitting across from such a calm old man. I wanted to be just like him but didn’t know how to live a single day without being messed up. Either way, I certainly LOVE the train rides and traveling in Thailand. And the people are kinder than anywhere… besides maybe Nepal.

For The Rat On Ko Lanta Who Stole My Weed

Trees in breeze from sea,
Birds sing songs from heart,
Green curry with love in the kitchen,
Hammock swings,
I am thankful.
A bore- a whore
not fun- nor scum
what times- bad lines
sipping coke and rum
To the blood sucking critters who
left a hundred welts on Seth’s arm;
you bugs- big hugs,
you fuck us up.
The herb eating rat lives in our thatch,
sneaky rodent is nibbling through
ditty bags to get high.
White spirit- black spirit
red spirit- blue
each spirit works for me and for you-
helping people bond in unusual ways.
to relax when wound up,
quiet sullen shy folk break out
in dance & conversation-
some over do it
boozers & baby abusers,
but for those who don’t, who won’t,
who simply enjoy the taste & warm embrace
of a small or big glass
from a Gin or a Bass,
Enjoy it. I am.
I smoke a doob in the morning,
I smoke another at night,
I swallow down Coke and Rum
Stoned out my gorge as I write.
Smiles all around me,
Local and farang,
Smiling lips from ear to ear
As I ride in the bathtub rain.
When I ask a man for gasoline
He smiles and says “ok.”
When I pass her on la calle,
A smile I pass her way.
Each person has their secrets,
Hidden behind smiles,
It’s what’s presented outside
That separates the good from the piles.
So may you on your journey,
Share a smile with lots of peeps.
From happy, smiling angels,
To dirty, filthy creeps.
Dear Rat:
You stole my shit
now I want it
I’ll hunt you ‘til I get it back,
Whether you ate it- you hid it
or shared it
I won’t cut you an ounce of slack.
The first time you hit us
was funny,
Who would have thought 
it would happen to us,
You took over half of
my sweet stash,
Why did you abuse
my trust?
Then! You ate it while
we slept soundly,
You must have watched,
or smelled, who knows?
You nibbled through Rainbow Crow’s
zippered pouch, you’re 
a fiend, little buddy, it shows.
You son-of-a-bitch
while I smoke this,
I will think of your
stoned little eyes,
I hope you enjoyed
this here ganja,
Because the last of the 
stash is all mine.

Aloe shallow
Clear blue seas,
Gin I win
Under bamboo trees,
Snakes and lakes
Mosquito coils,
Green curry cooks
Full pot boils,
Deck of cards
Loud Nirvana,
Writing and writing
Constant prana,
Laughing drunkard
Ocean music lights,
Hidden moon advertises
Muy Thai fights.
Dig a grave for I am here
Ol’ Ko Lanta I love you dear,
Cockroaches live in the bathroom,
Birds nest in the tree,
All of us from one thing,
Fleas, bees, and me.
If I die, where will I go?
Oh yeah, I’ll die indeed,
To heaven or hell 
will that be it,
A corpse for insects to feed?
As long as I can read. 
Will I come back a street mutt?
With nipples on the concrete.
What will happen? 
So many beliefs,
To ponder, oh what a sweet treat.

I received the outline of this tattoo while sitting on a beach leaning and watching waves crash while sipping a cocktail. It was completely finished almost 10 hours after first starting; I swore to never get another tattoo with a gun.

Published by secretgardenalaska

Best friends raising two daughters off-grid in a remote area of Alaska. We grow food, write stories, make jewelry, and live a sober life.

Leave a Reply