Mama MIA

Does this title read Mama MIA (Missing in Action) or Mama Mia (my mother)?

It’s truly hard to say and all dependent on who you ask.

The last year of my life can be summed up by mostly one word…Mama.

Before having children Bob and I wondered, how can we get more time? More time together, more time to do what we want, more time to work for ourselves, more LIFE. We really filled in every hour. We like to move and do. Some could describe us as action people. Not necessarily thrill seekers (speaking for myself, anyone who knows my husband knows he most definitely IS), but we are constantly doing something.

Before children-later this day we learned the other loves to hike
and adventure

When our first daughter was born, it took so much adjusting, slowing down and accepting we can’t do it all. And although we never felt like we *could* do it all before, it felt even more true. At times, this beautiful blessing felt trapping, restricting, and incredibly frustrating. We slowly came to terms (or more so) with our limitations, and then our second daughter was created.

A few weeks after Marlena came into this world, I said, “What the hell did I do over the summer with all my free time.” Suddenly I was hit with this realization that I had had time before to do things…but now. Now my time was zero. Especially being super vigilant because our fresh little baby was born with a broken arm,

Bob became Mr. Stark at the school in Ninilchik and was working full time, leaving me at home with the 2 under 2 (technically 2 years and 2 weeks). I quit my side job and have dedicated myself to the stay at home mom thing. I love it but also the demands of a newborn alongside a sister who had been the CENTER OF THE UNIVERSE to both her parents who now were pulled in different directions, became really overwhelming.

The thing is…people do this ALL. THE. DAMN. TIME. I really couldn’t understand it. I put restrictions on myself for “No Yell Days”. My God, who was I turning into?

So I started going MIA – missing in action. I cut back doing things that were unnecessary. I’ve dropped all forms of social media. I stopped mopping the floor every week. I quit having a designated laundry day. I stopped (or at least outwardly) trying to have so much “order”.

By doing many more cut backs, I found time where I didn’t know I had it. I make time. I know people have always told me, and especially since becoming a parent, “you have to make time”, but I literally couldn’t think of how or what the hell that even meant.

I am far from expert, but now I am able to have my yoga practice 60-90 minutes a day , I get dressed EVERYDAY ya’ll, I take a walk every afternoon, I am meeting friends on a regular basis for hours every week, I’ve skied more than I ever have in my life, and at night time you can find me up in the loft journaling, studying business or working on my beading or upcoming yoga workshop.

You’ll be better for it

The one aspect that needs more priority is finding quality time with my best friend, my husband. I can understand the phrase “two passing ships”. I don’t feel that quite describes us- every second he is home from work we are glued at the hip, but my my how it has changed. I’m looking forward to the last day of school and having him home again all day with our new and improved schedule.

It is very often that I feel I don’t have much to teach, especially to my husband who is incredibly intelligent and can figure out almost anything quickly. But I am looking forward to showing him the ropes here at home 24/7 in the self-care department of parenthood. I’m excited to inspire that big ol brain of his and encourage him to carve the time out every single day for his writing. And to be that unbreakable family unit we’ve always been.

It’s in our values and we are making it happen.

Can I get a “Mama mia!” out of this!

You can do it Mama

Published by secretgardenalaska

Best friends raising two daughters off-grid in a remote area of Alaska. We grow food, write stories, make jewelry, and live a sober life.

3 thoughts on “Mama MIA

  1. Momma mia 💕! Grandtastic .I am happy your finding balance keep up the good work and if you find the tides turn , remember just that , its only a tide it turns thanks for sharing .

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