“When they tell you to shut up, they mean stop talking. When they tell you to grow up, they mean stop growing. Reach a nice level plateau and settle there, predictable and unchanging, no longer a threat.” – Tom Robbins, Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
What an extraordinary piece I have been reflecting on since the day I read this years ago. Today this seems so prevalent. We all have SO. MUCH. TO. SAY. And sometimes, I wish everyone would just shut up, SHUT UP. But that is only when I am feeling overwhelmed and burdened by my own thoughts and fears. I do not really want anyone to shut up, no, not even the president [eye roll please!]. And heres why- because we NEED conversation
we need to be heard
we need to listen and be listened too
we need to connect to each other and know we feel the same feelings
we need to see a different experience to see a different reality
we need to be able to discern our own truth from others truth
and see the lies in plain sight.
We need everyone to keep talking, communicating, communing.
It has been weighing heavy in my heart the negative statements I see and hear being made about others. Statements about preppers and hoarders, statements about people who seem to not have a care about the virus, statements about Asian people, statements about rich and poor people, statements about vaccinated and non-vaccinated people, statements about old, young, and middle aged people, statements about tree huggers and hippies and that of the capitalist, statements of country folk and city dwellers, statements about people who have decided to quarantine and statements about those who have decided not to bother.
It is wrong for us to condemn our neighbors. We are in this situation because of every single thing that has happened in history. So, what can we do about it? Rather than call each other names and point the finger of blame, let us TALK. I have my own ideas and opinions that I would like to share.
First and foremost the prayers in my family have radically changed. I am returning to a purer relationship with my God. My prayers tend to be of gratitude and praise, as I don’t like to ask God for things. Through AA I have been trying to embrace the Serenity Prayer:
“God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change.
Courage to change the things I can
and the wisdom to know the difference.”
What a scary and weightlifting experience this prayer has been. About five days ago, Bob and I were in the greenhouse. He asked me if I was afraid. I said no, I’m not afraid of the virus and getting sick. We decided we needed to have acceptance of what will happen. We need to accept Gods will, and not try to plan and control our own destiny. This does not mean however that we will be careless. Not being afraid does not mean being careless or aloof. We are just not asking God “Please let us live, please let our family and friends live, and please keep us safe, don’t let us fall sick or be victims of crime” but instead we are learning what trust in God is. We are praying for open our hearts and minds to accept all that is Gods will, the will for the GREATER GOOD. We are praying for strength and courage to stay calm and centered and present. We are finding a great happiness in the peace and relaxation this brings us. And in this peace and relaxation amid the chaos we are seeing in the world outside of ourselves, gives us a passion to continue loving and respecting each other.
And that my friends is what is making quarantine SO GOOD to me. If you read a few blogs back, I’ve basically been there since quitting my job last month. My daily routine has only changed by not going to yoga class, but I’m still about to do it at home. This brings me to another point I would like to talk about.
IF you have the option, please stay home! I understand this is not possible for everyone. Bob is currently still going to work. It isn’t required, but I do feel like he was slightly guilt tripped into it. Since others are taking off, he needs to be there to pick up the slack. [major eye roll] I won’t go in to too much detail about my feelings there, but I would like to put in my thoughts about this quarantine business. This isn’t just a virus for old people. Everyone is catching it. You may not die from it, but you may catch it (and never show symptoms) but spread it to someone who WILL die from it. This has been the common sense rule of getting sick for a long time. If you are sick STAY HOME! I understand that this can be hard in a world that we are living in where you have to work, cannot miss it, because you are living paycheck to paycheck. For everyone who has stripped down all luxuries, is struggling to make ends meet, living off a non-liveable pay, I think this will be a time of great change. I have hope things are going to turn around. We people will rise and say, I’m worth something more than this. I am not afraid of the economy crashing. I think THAT will be a potentially positive thing that comes from this. Right now “The Economy” is in control of our lives. We work day to day to day to make ends meet. Radical things need to happen. Aside from realizing our wealth and worth, we NEED to STOP spending so much! Affluenza and consumerism is a sickness bigger than this virus. Hundreds of thousands of people are dying because we cannot stop. The Earth is suffering because we cannot stop. This needs to change. We need to remember what is important.
What is important? I started to become afraid. It comes in waves and rolls out again just as the tide. The tide. The tide is important- taking walks on the beach. I notice the birds, they are returning for spring and singing their songs. I watch the trees, they are just as strong and sturdy. Nature is important. The connection we draw between it and us. The most important thing for me currently is to love my life. If this isn’t a “live like theres no tomorrow” kinda feeling, I don’t know what is. Death is on the tip of our tongues. It is so close you can smell it. Every moment seems to suddenly overwhelm my heart with so much tenderness and gratitude. I’m so thankful. I am the luckiest woman alive. I spend my days in nature with my animal friends who show me the most unconditional love I’ve ever known. Each night I get to lay with my husband as we cuddle and whisper in candlelight while feeling the baby we have created move inside of me. Last night we stared into the eyes of a pregnant moose who came to our porch. We talked to her without words. She laid asleep in our yard for the night, us all having an understanding and love for each other and the creations we are capable of. Life is a wondrous miracle. Create miracles.